Quick Update on my Daily Life Lately

I have been working deeply in a few areas lately, and I figured it is about time that I updated everyone here on my progress. I am sorry to leave you all in the dark for so long, however if you have read my other blogs, you would know that I am still around.

Besides having my third child in late March, my oldest daughter is off of school for the summer. So, my house has been chaos to say the least. My mind has been torn between quite a few wants, needs, and passions.

First, and foremost is always my kids and family. Thus I have started a new blog, Homeschooling Toddlers, because I have had to do a tremendous amount of research in order to find resources, ideas, etc to homeschool my 18 month old son alongside my 6 year old daughter. Most resources I have found are techniques and tips to keep my son "occupied" while I teach my older child. However I am NOT interested in simply keeping him occupied. I want him involved and learning as well.

Next, still has to do with my family but not in such a direct way, and that is earning money. I know that earning money takes some time and effort, however with my first focus taking up my days, I have little to NO energy to follow through on this next task. I have been trying to become debt free by solely earning free money online, and have made quite the progress with that. Unfortunately I am not quite in the range of Amy Bass' earnings, and without some more proactive help from my hubby, there's no chance in hell that I will ever get there.

I have multiple product reviews waiting in the wings to get finished (and I will get the published). I have just had to prioritize my time, energy, and ideas. I am also a bit wary of the whole ordeal with the Federal Trade Commission. Here are some opinions and advice on this from other mommy bloggers more versed in it that myself: Green and Clean Mom and Classy Mommy.

New Tool Sunday: LinkBee

I was cruising around VineFire this morning (I occasionally find some really great money making sites there), when I stumbled across a link for LinkBee. It's a promising site that allows you to shorten URLs (something I have to do often to post links to Twitter) and earn commission on the ads they place on those links.

Yes, I know what you're thinking... 'Oh well there's the catch, they place tacky ads all over the screen.' Well yes and no. You can choose to have the ad placed before the page loads or as a banner over the page. I'm not sure which is better yet. I have been using the banner choice (Click here to see the example. Then click here for the ad before example.) Which do you think is better? Comment below please.

Just a little rant for the week....

So, I am sure most of you have been wondering where I am. I know I have been tweeting and posting about random Cash Crate things. But I haven't been really talking about myself or my family lately.

Well, we have been hitting a lot of rough patches that I have been wanting to overlook and in turn burying myself in my "work" to avoid thinking about it all. I am still up in the air about how I feel about it all, but I think I should really get it off my chest before it eats me alive. So, here for my online community of friends, I need to just vent a little.

A few weeks ago, my step daughter really became worse with my son. She has always not really played well with him, simply because she is used to playing with her older cousins and they play rough. Well, my son is only 1 years old, and so we have always told her she needs to play nicer and gentler with him. But that wasn't really the issue lately.

Thankfully our living room is connected right next to their bedroom that they share. They were in their playing when I heard my son whimpering. It was a very strange sound to hear coming from my happy-go-lucky little boy, so I peeked my head around the corner. What I saw would have made any mother's skin crawl.

My SD had her large pink fleece blanket tossed over my son completely, and is holding it and him down. She is also leaned close to him whispering 'Shh it's ok.' Completely and utterly shocked, I stood up and walked into the room. I could barely react and the only thing I could say was 'What are you doing?' Normally I would have predicted that I would have flipped out and screamed at her, but I couldn't even bring myself to comprehend what I had seen.

She tried telling me she was trying to make the blanket look like his hair, but we all know that that was not the case. She also tried saying that she was whispering to him that it was ok if he wanted to take the blanket off, which again we all know is not true. I was scared out of my mind for my son. I took every blanket in the room away. I just was beside myself about how to handle this situation.

The next morning, there was another mishap where my son fell and was in a stuck position, and instead of helping him or coming to get one of us, she laughed at him until we came running into the room. Hubby and I were dumbfounded as to where this new behavior was coming from. It was obvious it was for some kind of attention. That afternoon we got her in to see a psychiatrist, and she started rambling off all kinds of things about voices in her head telling her to do these things.

Now, hubby and I know that her grandma often has friends over with mental illnesses and they openly discuss these types of issues around her. So, we questioned where she heard things like this, and she told us who told her about 'voices.' We then explained this to her counselor. Now we have a whole new issue of attention, lying, and acting-out behaviors.

Needless to say, this is all something an 8 month pregnant mother of almost 2 does not need to be dealing with her step daughter about. I feel unsafe to leave my son alone with her, and at the same time I hate feeling like I have to watch over her every move. It's not fair to any of us to have these types of feelings toward family members.

I'm not exactly sure where we stand now. As a family, we still have the same rules in our house just with one added (no blankets for play time). Also, my SD has begun calling me 'mommy' on a regular basis now and rarely refers to me by my first name anymore. Does this mean we are on the right track and soon will be one 'happy family'? Only time will tell... but I know one thing is for sure... I personally will never forget that moment. It has scarred me in quite a deep place. And although I hold no anonymosity towards my SD because of it, the action and the intent behind it burned me badly.

Wouldn't you feel the same way if this happened to one of your children regardless if it was another one of your own kids doing it?

Home Business Ideas

I have been thinking lately of more and more home business ideas. I am still on a roll with Cash Crate, and I have even made a new blog dedicated to becoming debt free using it. So, check me out there, and once I get my check in March (which I am already guaranteed to get) I will post a pic for you all to see the proof.

In the meantime, besides pouring myself into my kids and Cash Crate, I still need more. Don't we all need more money in this income? So, until my Cash Crate really begins to add up (mostly waiting on getting more referrals, come on all and join me *wink*), I need another form of passive or aggresive income to sustain us.

My newest idea is to teach kids (or adults) how to crochet. My mother taught me, and even though I have never finished a blanket, I know how to crochet and I have always been told that I am a great teacher. The only reason I have not finished a blanket is because of my Rheumatoid Arthritis. However I think that teaching someone for 30 min to an hour a night (or day) a couple of times a week wouldn't kill my arms.

If that idea is not a break out one, I have some others. Such as:

• Tutor
• Selling on Ebay
• Pet sitting
• Baby sitting
• Selling baked goods
• Selling crafty 'recipes in a jar'

Hmm... that's all I think I got for now. Do you have any other ideas or methods you use as supplemental income?

My Struggle With Depression Goes On

This is an old post that I never published.

I am still struggling through my feelings of daily depression. I thought that moving to a newer, cleaner, better apartment would have ended most of my troubles. Unfortunately, it hasn't and I am beginning to see that most of my troubles are actually stemming from something besides my environment and money issues. I am discovering that my husband is behind a lot of my woes.

Not to bash him 100% here, but he does try and help me around the house once in awhile. However it is his lackadaisical habits that have me ripping my hair out right now. We have gotten through our money talks and he has agreed to give me all income and let me sort it out, which is a giant step for him and his 'spending issues.' Now if only I can get him to either not touch my kitchen, or clean up after himself in there, I would be all set.

Of course, every woman's dream man, right?

But honestly, how hard is it to clean up after yourself, guys? Since moving into this new apartment, I have busted my butt to keep up on the dishes each and every day. Then my one night that I talked about a little while ago, where I felt like doing nothing, resulted in a pile of dishes filled with gross water in the sink.

My husband's philosophy on dishes is that if you fill them up with water to "soak" then they are easier to wash. Ok, this may be true if the dishes are days old, with lots of caked on food. However if they are less then 2 hours old, all you have to do is blast them with hot water for about 30 seconds and the scrub with a sponge. Voila. Simple, done, finito.

But no, not him. And I have an issue (and he knows this) about touching dishes that are filled with gross, cold water and been sitting for awhile. However I have still been keeping up on any and all dishes that I use personally, plus I will wash one or two that I am not so grossed out about at the same time.

Unfortunately, any effort I make is not enough, and is always cut shorter when my husband steps into the kitchen. (For example, I had washed a bowl I used for lunch today, and he dropped some chocolate syrup on it while it was drying on the counter. Instead of quickly washing it or rinsing it, he dumps it in the sick and fills it with water! Why?)

Is anyone out there in the same boat as me? Have you and your husband gotten through something like this? If so, please let me know of some pointers. I am at a loss.

Ranting Session

I want to get something off my chest that has been bugging me for the past few weeks, and it can explain my lack of postings at the beginning of this week. And no, it is not really due to us moving, because I don't even have the energy to do a lot of unpacking or cleaning.

Most of you may not know this, but I have been suffering from what seems to be post-partum depression. I haven't really talked to anyone about it, or mentioned it at all really. I think I was either in denial, or mostly just not caring about... well anything. It hit me a few days ago when hubs and I got into an argument, and I just sat on the couch for hours afterwards. I didn't move, didn't talk, didn't eat or drink, I didn't even care to watch my son, pick him up, or giggle when he was being cute, and he was being oh so very cute.

Even as I sat there and noticed that I wasn't wanting to do anything, I was disgusted with myself for being that way, which made me feel worse. I felt like such a horrible mother, wife, and person. What was wrong with me? My son is my life, and yet I still didn't feel like living.

Well, what spurred my feelings has been my husband's comments lately. I always ask him for help with the baby while I cook dinner or finish something up on the computer (like coupon tracking or budgeting), and his way of helping is sitting my son on his lap while he continues to play on the computer. Of course, my son will always get bored, fuss, and run to bug me again. I love my son, and I would put anything down for him. But I am trying to make our family life better and I ask my husband for just 5 minutes of help, and he can't even do that. *Which by the way, my husband is disabled and cannot work outside the home presently, but he can help me with physical things around the house.*

Then when I mention how frustrating it is that my husband can't even look up from his computer games for longer than 2 seconds to help me, I get yelled at and called a 'useless blogger.' He says that I make him feel like a bad father when I mention things like that, but it's true. All he does is bury his head in an online game or chat room. I can't even get him to look up and see when my son is doing something adorable.

Afterwards, me and him talked and he apologized for what he said, but it didn't take away my feelings of emptiness and pointlessness. Here I am, busting my ass, trying to save our family as much money as I can, get us out of debt, and also finding ways to make our lives better, while raising our kids and carrying our third child. I am tired and overwhelmed. And for what? Why am I busting my ass for someone that doesn't appreciate my efforts?

Now most women in this situation that I've known are there because they don't ask for help, or whatever. But for me, that's not the case. I ask him for help, not all the time, just occasionally and only for a few minutes. Is that so hard? I try not to be nagging, but I physically do not have the energy to be standing, cleaning, cooking, caretaking, etc etc all day long. I can only do about 10 minutes of any activity before I need to sit down and take a break.

Usually in that time, my husband will grab the remote and change the channel (even though he is not even turned and watching the TV, just playing on the computer with the TV behind him). This of course upsets me, because when I go to sit down and relax until my next burst of energy I am stuck watching Chowder or some other horribly created show. (This is what spurred our argument the other day.)

Stupid things, yes I know. But I am a homemaker trying her damndest to make her house a home, and with a one year old at foot & a lil gremlin mullin around inside, I am tired all day long. I have so many ambitions, but I cannot get any of them done on my own.

I know my anger is justified and all, and that's not the issue. Hmm... I am not sure what I am trying to say here, but I am just trying to get my feelings out. I want to notice them, realize them, and hopefully find it in me to get help for myself. I dread the days these feelings come over me, but I have never been more fearful of them until the other day when I was so depressed that I couldn't even move. To have such feelings of despair, emptiness, and gloom while my son is running around, laughing, and playing peekaboo is not right. It is even worse that I do not care to get help for it. I don't want to feel that way anymore. I'm not in high school. I am an adult, a wife, a mother. I have others to care for, little gentle souls that count on me. It is not all about me.

So, why do I feel this way?

16 Days of New Things ~ Day 1

Yay! We are at day 1 of my "16 Days of New Things" and gearing up for the new year. If the outcome of this series is great enough, I am considering extending it over to its own blog full time. So, if that sounds interesting to you, then get involved here on this blog's posts and subscribe to know when and if it goes full time.

One thing I would like to share my knowledge on is my method for getting my son to sleep in his own crib. I started 4 days ago, because I want him to be completely on his own when his little sister arrives in April. My method has been to establish and stick to a daily bed time routine. That routine has been dinner, bath, dress, and straight into crib.

Now I will go into the details, so you can understand that I follow every step to the T, and this way he knows exactly what I am going to do. Once he is in his crib, I will read him a small book (I have been using the same book) while he drinks from his bottle, then I will turn off the lights, hug him while I sing Twinkle Twinkle Little Star once. Right after, I lay him down on his pillow, kiss him goodnight, and walk out of the room.

On the first night, he cried for an hour straight. I would go in once every 10 minutes, find his thrown binkie and give it back to him, hug him until he calmed down and then lay him right back onto his pillow.

On the second night, I followed the same routine and he only cried for about 40 minutes.

Not expecting any improvement and following all my methods above, after laying him down, he only fussed for about 10 minutes! It was such a short time, I wasn't sure if he was really asleep, so I checked and sure enough he fell right over onto his lap and passed out.

Then last night being the 4th night, and his big birthday bash being that day, I was not sure what to expect. Also, he had quite a diaper rash which I am assuming is from an allergic reaction to Cinnamon (confirming at next doc appt), but I followed my same routine and around 8 PM laid him down and he didn't even try and get up. He closed his eyes and fell asleep right with me in the room. I was completely surprised, and I am very relieved.

It is tough though, getting through listening to him cry. I thought so many times that I could not deal and I just wanted to hug him and stop altogether. However I got myself through it by reassuring myself that it is for his own good and mine. I am teaching him a great life skills of independence, patience, and self-soothing. Also, this will help me to get a better night's sleep, which apparently I need (but don't all parents).

Now something new I have learned today: I have fibromayalgia.

Now your turn, what is something new you have learned today? Or do you have something that you know about that you would like to share with others?

My New Button

Finally I made a new button for this blog. Let me know what you think. It is located in the upper right hand sidebar. Also, below it is the code to grab my button and add it to your site. Yay! If you do grab my button, let me know in the comment section of this post below. And please don't forget to let me know what you think in the form below.

15 Days of Marketing ~ Day 7

Start following this series with Day 1 here.

Day7

Well, I am not really interested in following the bio portion of this day as Jessica says we should. Also, Blogger only allows a 1200 character "About Me" section, and I have pretty much covered the basics about me. If you need to know more, then read my blog entries. Lol.

As for the press page, well it would be very bare at this point. I haven't exchanged links with anyone. Just like my posts of late are mentioning, I don't have a niche besides being a mom. So, when others ask me for a description of my blog, I just sit there scratching my head. Of course, this has only happened once, and I still haven't responded to her email.

What is my niche?

So, it has been pointed out that I don't really have a niche on this blog, or at least one is not directly referenced anywhere. Well, yes, you caught me. As I have said before, I am a new blogger. I am trying to find my niche, my way, and grow a readership while I am at it. I have been following JessicaKnows' 15 days of Marketing, which started out easy but then I got stuck.

Being so new, I don't have any contacts and barely any tweeps that I keep a consistent daily banter with. I sort of jump into conversations very unannounced and often very unappreciated. Yes, that is making me feel insecure, unwelcome, and unmotivated to keep going. However, I just keep at it and hope that I will find my niche.

I have also read in so many places that the best way to receive feedback for how you are doing is to ask. Well, correct me if I am wrong, but I have been asking. I am practically blue in the face over it. And what do I have to show for all the questions I shovel out on a daily basis? Zippo! Am I asking the wrong questions to the wrong crowd? Or am I just being too overexcited with this whole blogging thing? Perhaps it is not for me. Well, back to the first issue, what is my blog about?

Well, I am a mom. I love to write, surf the Internet, read, play video games or computer games, learn new things, and all the while develop myself into a better person. I am here to share my journey, my experiences, and my discoveries.

I am also here to offer a hand or ear or anything else needed to others in my place or similar. I have always known what it is like to suddenly be thrust into a new area with no one beside you. I was a Marine brat (kid) for my whole childhood. I moved every two or three years to a new state, and was forced to make new friends, learn new cultures, and keep learning and growing while I was at it.

For better or worse, that was my life and it made me who I am. So, there... I am not sure what that makes me, because I do not think I am as clever as most in this blogging spectrum. I guess I will just keep reaching out and growing, and possibly just find out what I can offer to others.

I need a tagline...

So, if you follow Blog Coach's blog as well, you would have seen her latest posting about a tagline. Oops, I don't have one. So, let's rectify this little oopsie on my part.

I wanted to extend this out to my readers. What do you think would be a nice tagline for Mama Knows Best? Fill out the form below. Once I get a fair amount of suggestions, then I will post a poll for a vote on the winning tagline. Pass on the word and ask all your friends to participate as well.

A New Mommy Blogger Needs Help

Being a new "mommy blogger," I am still trying to get a handle on the basics. The past few days the whole family, including myself, has not been feeling very well. Ronin, my 11 month old, was feeling miserable with an ear infection on the same day that I received my flu shot. So, on top of having no energy, I had a clingy toddler and I was being faced with the dilemma of working on my new 'business' and neglecting my son or vice versa.

Now with having such a new blog, I have fallen victim to probably a very common issue, not having many reserve posts and having so many ideas that I want to blog about but no time to write any of it down.

A few weeks ago, I was reading a blog post (ironically that I cannot remember) referring to Getting Things Done by David Allen, and one thing that I decided to adopt was to write everything down instead of keeping it bottled up in your mind. Now normally, I love to write things down, but unfortunately with a clingy baby that will grab anything I am holding, I could not do so. Also, by the time that I am able to write things down, I have forgotten what I wanted to write.

*Sigh*

So, at this point, I need a solution to finding a quick, simple, and durable tool to help me record things while keeping them safe and out of the reach of my small toddler, however I still need it near me so I don't forget about it. I know, every mom's miracle tool.

Now it's your turn: Do you have just the thing I need? Or better yet, what do you use as a mommy or blogger or whatever else that is similar? I am curious to know what you other mothers out there are using that maybe I could utilize as well.

*Don't forget to subscribe to my feed and follow me on Twitter @Mama4Kids*