Feelings of Accomplishment

I am feeling rather accomplished and proud today. I have finally gotten through to my husband that I need help around here, and it is going to happen whether he likes it or not. I got all the dishes cleaned and caught up on, and I refuse to let them get behind again. If my husband fills any with water, I stand over him until he washes them himself. I have demonstrated to him my concept of rinsing dishes with hot water instead of "soaking" them and how much more effective it is. Needless to say, he finally saw my point of view. (Now if only I can get rid of that nasty smell coming up from the sink drain.)

I have also finalized (for now) the chore list and system that hubby, Mack, and I are going to follow daily from now on. I spent an entire night deciding on the chores, frequency needed, and who can do what. I know I talked about using Chore Buster awhile ago, but that will only work if you already have everyone pitching in with the chores. No one was before, so I had to get a system in place first.

After a whole night of debating, categorizing, and analyzing I have come up with a solution.

This is a picture of the Family Chore list I posted on our fridge. Each person has their own set of chores, and even a few days off. I had to create it in a way that was fitting to their activity spans now, so as you can see my husband only has one chore a day and one day off completely. Then Mack has between 1 and 3 chores a day with the weekends off (because she spends time at her Grandma's). I know you can see that I got the sh** end, because I have at least one chore everyday and a few days I have 4 chores. However it's easy because I like dishes done a certain way, and everyone has to wash their own dishes anyways. So, really my chore of "washing dishes" entails my own dishes and any meal dishes (pots, pans, etc.). Having it written like this though and already having everyone trained to follow through and wash their own plates and stuff, they don't notice my little loophole *wink* So don't tell them.

Do you have a chore list for your family? Does it work? How is it set up?

My Struggle With Depression Goes On

This is an old post that I never published.

I am still struggling through my feelings of daily depression. I thought that moving to a newer, cleaner, better apartment would have ended most of my troubles. Unfortunately, it hasn't and I am beginning to see that most of my troubles are actually stemming from something besides my environment and money issues. I am discovering that my husband is behind a lot of my woes.

Not to bash him 100% here, but he does try and help me around the house once in awhile. However it is his lackadaisical habits that have me ripping my hair out right now. We have gotten through our money talks and he has agreed to give me all income and let me sort it out, which is a giant step for him and his 'spending issues.' Now if only I can get him to either not touch my kitchen, or clean up after himself in there, I would be all set.

Of course, every woman's dream man, right?

But honestly, how hard is it to clean up after yourself, guys? Since moving into this new apartment, I have busted my butt to keep up on the dishes each and every day. Then my one night that I talked about a little while ago, where I felt like doing nothing, resulted in a pile of dishes filled with gross water in the sink.

My husband's philosophy on dishes is that if you fill them up with water to "soak" then they are easier to wash. Ok, this may be true if the dishes are days old, with lots of caked on food. However if they are less then 2 hours old, all you have to do is blast them with hot water for about 30 seconds and the scrub with a sponge. Voila. Simple, done, finito.

But no, not him. And I have an issue (and he knows this) about touching dishes that are filled with gross, cold water and been sitting for awhile. However I have still been keeping up on any and all dishes that I use personally, plus I will wash one or two that I am not so grossed out about at the same time.

Unfortunately, any effort I make is not enough, and is always cut shorter when my husband steps into the kitchen. (For example, I had washed a bowl I used for lunch today, and he dropped some chocolate syrup on it while it was drying on the counter. Instead of quickly washing it or rinsing it, he dumps it in the sick and fills it with water! Why?)

Is anyone out there in the same boat as me? Have you and your husband gotten through something like this? If so, please let me know of some pointers. I am at a loss.

Ranting Session

I want to get something off my chest that has been bugging me for the past few weeks, and it can explain my lack of postings at the beginning of this week. And no, it is not really due to us moving, because I don't even have the energy to do a lot of unpacking or cleaning.

Most of you may not know this, but I have been suffering from what seems to be post-partum depression. I haven't really talked to anyone about it, or mentioned it at all really. I think I was either in denial, or mostly just not caring about... well anything. It hit me a few days ago when hubs and I got into an argument, and I just sat on the couch for hours afterwards. I didn't move, didn't talk, didn't eat or drink, I didn't even care to watch my son, pick him up, or giggle when he was being cute, and he was being oh so very cute.

Even as I sat there and noticed that I wasn't wanting to do anything, I was disgusted with myself for being that way, which made me feel worse. I felt like such a horrible mother, wife, and person. What was wrong with me? My son is my life, and yet I still didn't feel like living.

Well, what spurred my feelings has been my husband's comments lately. I always ask him for help with the baby while I cook dinner or finish something up on the computer (like coupon tracking or budgeting), and his way of helping is sitting my son on his lap while he continues to play on the computer. Of course, my son will always get bored, fuss, and run to bug me again. I love my son, and I would put anything down for him. But I am trying to make our family life better and I ask my husband for just 5 minutes of help, and he can't even do that. *Which by the way, my husband is disabled and cannot work outside the home presently, but he can help me with physical things around the house.*

Then when I mention how frustrating it is that my husband can't even look up from his computer games for longer than 2 seconds to help me, I get yelled at and called a 'useless blogger.' He says that I make him feel like a bad father when I mention things like that, but it's true. All he does is bury his head in an online game or chat room. I can't even get him to look up and see when my son is doing something adorable.

Afterwards, me and him talked and he apologized for what he said, but it didn't take away my feelings of emptiness and pointlessness. Here I am, busting my ass, trying to save our family as much money as I can, get us out of debt, and also finding ways to make our lives better, while raising our kids and carrying our third child. I am tired and overwhelmed. And for what? Why am I busting my ass for someone that doesn't appreciate my efforts?

Now most women in this situation that I've known are there because they don't ask for help, or whatever. But for me, that's not the case. I ask him for help, not all the time, just occasionally and only for a few minutes. Is that so hard? I try not to be nagging, but I physically do not have the energy to be standing, cleaning, cooking, caretaking, etc etc all day long. I can only do about 10 minutes of any activity before I need to sit down and take a break.

Usually in that time, my husband will grab the remote and change the channel (even though he is not even turned and watching the TV, just playing on the computer with the TV behind him). This of course upsets me, because when I go to sit down and relax until my next burst of energy I am stuck watching Chowder or some other horribly created show. (This is what spurred our argument the other day.)

Stupid things, yes I know. But I am a homemaker trying her damndest to make her house a home, and with a one year old at foot & a lil gremlin mullin around inside, I am tired all day long. I have so many ambitions, but I cannot get any of them done on my own.

I know my anger is justified and all, and that's not the issue. Hmm... I am not sure what I am trying to say here, but I am just trying to get my feelings out. I want to notice them, realize them, and hopefully find it in me to get help for myself. I dread the days these feelings come over me, but I have never been more fearful of them until the other day when I was so depressed that I couldn't even move. To have such feelings of despair, emptiness, and gloom while my son is running around, laughing, and playing peekaboo is not right. It is even worse that I do not care to get help for it. I don't want to feel that way anymore. I'm not in high school. I am an adult, a wife, a mother. I have others to care for, little gentle souls that count on me. It is not all about me.

So, why do I feel this way?

My Own Reading Program for a One Year Old

As I type, I have been in the midst of working on my very own version of how to teach my son to read. I have seen the infomercial for "Your Baby Can Read" and was astounded to find out how big of a trend this is. They have a system and it does seem to work on so many babies ages 3 months to 3 years.

I also found so many sites dedicated to Dolch words for beginner readers, word card suggestions, even a short article by Gwynne Spencer about how she taught her son to read using manicure scissors at 3 years old!

Then that got me thinking, 'If Gwynne created her own method that encouraged her son at 3, why can't I create my own method for my son at 1?' He is already interested in learning so many new things, like sign language, new foods, new places, etc. He is an open book for me to write LOL.

So, here I am, ready and willing to get started, and my first step was to identify the words I wanted to teach him. I was reading this article on eHow.com where they suggest to make 100-200 word cards and show them to your baby 3 times a day for no more than 30 seconds each. How you do it is by showing one new word a day until you get to 5 words, then retire the first word, etc etc. For more details, please go read the article, it is very informative.

I decided to identify my own 100+ words that I would like to teach my son. I started with his body and his environment. Mostly words that are easy for me to show him.

As I got over 100 words, I began thinking of an idea I had when I was younger... I wanted to write words on name cards for objects around the house and then tape them to each object, like what they do in preschools. I did this for a short while with my step daughter, however with many moves and all, the cards became torn or lost.

But that would be perfect to lead my son into the venture of reading. My goal is going to be to make these name cards again, and as I tape them up I will have my son with me. I will read the word, show him the object and then he can help or watch me tape it on (hopefully out of reach and for good, otherwise I will be replacing them often).

Then the everyday game I want to play is by making index cards with the words of the objects on them. I will show him a card, read it off, and then go show him the object. Eventually I want him to be able to run around and show me the objects as I show him the card. I have no goal for a length of time for him to learn, and I am taking a more direct approach than one word a day. I am going to treat it more like with sign language. I sign to him as often as I can.

I will do the same thing with the reading cards I make. Every time I say the word, I will show him the card (and probably sign as well). At this age, kids are sponges to information. Their brains are still developing and capable of taking in much more information than most people give them credit for. My son was able to pick up on his routine in only 2 weeks, and then we moved and he still was accustomed to his routine in the new environment.

I have been astounded by my son's intelligence and I really want to give him more credit than I have been. No more am I going to think, 'oh no he is too young for that,' because he can never be too young to be exposed to the real world and education.

Do you have any amazing teaching stories of your kids? Please share with us here. All links welcome! Videos of your kids being amazing would be great, too.

Simple, Quick, and Easy Ways to Clean Your House, Restart Your Day, or Just Feel Better

My mother told me it was always the little things that count. Sometimes, you just need some kind of pick-me-up or 'start over' button. Or there are those days that you just feel blah.

When you feel just completely dragged down, and you wish you could crawl back in bed until tomorrow morning, don't. Try these simple, quick, and easy ideas to get yourself going again.

1. Make Your Bed ~ such a small task, but your bed is usually about 75% of your bedroom visually. If you make it nice and neat, then 75% of the bedroom is clean (or at least looks that way).

2. Change Your Clothes ~ I am not big on the whole idea of getting completely dressed even if you are not going out. Street clothes are not as comfortable to me as sweats and a tank top, mostly because all jeans are too tight on my pregnant belly. So, instead, just change your clothes into a clean pair, whether it's jeans and a Tshirt or another pair of sweats and a tank top. Whatever makes you feel better, comfortable, and relaxed.

3. Do a Load of Wash ~ Sometimes I get into a funk where I only want to wear about 3 outfits. So, I have to do laundry more often. If you have nothing clean that you would like to wear, then wash some.

4. Go For a Walk ~ As long as weather permits, put on those walking shoes and get out there. Some fresh air can do loads to rekindle your spirit. You can even take the kids. That should wear them out for a good nap when you get home.

Do you have any other tips, tricks, or suggestions? Comment below with them, or email me to add them.

Decluttering ~ Day 4

If you saw me on Twitter today, then you should know about most of my progress. Oh and I have to share my ChoreBuster chores for the day:

1. Cook Breakfast & Lunch
2. Declutter House
3. Wash dishes

"Declutter house" is set to occur every 7 days, and I did not choose a start date but ironically it randomly chose today's date and me to start with. LOL.

Anywho... I had an hour of energy this morning and was able to downsize 1 giant box and 3 laundry baskets of random clothes that came over last night from the old apartment to only 2 laundry baskets (small ones) of clothes to keep. The rest will be going over to Salvation Army first thing tomorrow (they are closed today, and we just had a snow storm last night so we didn't want to leave it outside overnight).

I am also purging a small tupperware container filled with old McDonald's toys I collected as a kid (Barbies and Pokemon), two purses, and all my old Halloween outfits (yes, I kept all of them for years).

Now we are off to have dinner at a friend's house tonight. They have been helping us move, and still offer more. Once we get the house, food, etc in order over here, we will be inviting them over. Also, I am going to write a thank you note to the wife's work, Wild Side Florist. They so generously offered up the services of their delivery van and gas yesterday to help us do a day's worth of moving!